brooke ala mode

Confessions

2009-10-06T19:29:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make..... I am borderline addicted to ice cream. I love It . Truly Madly Deeply Adore It. I am basically stalk It. I think I should quit it but It completes me and my belly............ Oh, and this guy has one freakishly long tongue , hello Gene Simmons.

MMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmm

2009-09-29T08:13:00.000-07:00

This pic is from Mykonos. A guy had some crates of shallots eggplant, some yellow mums all out of a clown like three wheeled van/ pick up and these perfectly perfect ripe cherry tomato jewels . All I want to do is get some delish crusty bread toast it in olive oil and teeny bit of butter rub a garlic clove all over it and then take the best tomatoes, slice 'em and dice 'em throw in some red onion ,a lot of basil (and maybe some mint how about some fresh oregano or even cilantro ) and drizzle on some extra virgin and balsamic and I will be in heaven! How's that for a run on sentence? My taste buds are watering but I need to go do hair and make cereal for the huddled masses yearning to break free of their school routine ......

Greece is Great!

2009-09-25T21:32:00.000-07:00

I am finally getting to my summer pic's ( it's like wedding thankyou's , there's a window) -and if you haven't already heard I'm a world traveler now. Yep, I traverse the globe and it's no big whoop. Jet lag is my homie. I laugh in the face of baggage claim and sneer at airplane food ( except for the cookies on Delta mmmm) . Here I am with the Acropolis ..... it was awe inspiring. Hot , humid and the granite underfoot was slick and shiny from centuries of visitors. The site was filled ancient broken capitals and columns and quite a few ferrel cats and dogs. Thousands of people walked the gravel filled paths and I would try to squint my mind to imagine what it must have been like to enjoy the buildings in their prime. I feel sooo lucky I was able to see so much of Greece and to have had such an amazing time with OG GlamMom and Hilari. I'll never forget the side splitting laughter, room service cheese plates, table 8, ruins, water taxis, architecture, street markets, speedos, and gelato. I don't think it could have been any more wonderful!

It aint always easy....

2009-08-25T07:57:00.000-07:00

Getting ready for school is hard, but this face is even worse. We are trying to get in the groove of schedules and homework and sometimes I think summer went by too fast and other times I'm singing the Hallelujah Chorus ...ahhh.... such is motherhood and childhood and life.

007 watch out

2009-08-17T11:18:00.000-07:00

I just got back from my vacay fab pics soon to come ! I'd like to add that before I became a mother I never thought I would have to say " If you want to be a trained killer or government assassin you need to be a great reader and have good math skills ." Happy first day of school yayhoos!!!!

Cruisin'

2009-08-05T00:41:00.000-07:00

The yayhoos at the Getty Villa- amazing if you are in Malibu call ahead to get free tickets and GO!

See ya later fam' I am off to see the real thing!!!! Lotsa naked statues, and columns , gyros, gondolas, and gelatos ( who knew all awesome stuff starts with G ? ohh, Gidget,gyoza, Ghostbusters, gelatin, Gandhi, green olives,giclee', giants, I could go on and on and on....) thanks OG for making my travelin' dreams come true you have always been a wonderful gramma and I'm sure you will be an above average traveling companion ( like an A ++) you are my globe trotting inspiration( without the afro and basketball and converse) thank you for everything you do for me!! I love you!!!!!!

have duct tape will travel

2009-08-03T19:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes all ya need is a duct tape beard to feel awesome . It's waaay cooler than a goatee but about even with an ole timey stache' ( as far as adhesive facial hair goes).

Simple Gifts

2009-07-31T14:45:00.000-07:00

It takes a lot of dedication to paint yourself white and stand like a Greek statue hoping someone will drop a $20 in your top hat/collection bucket. The makeup has to be itchy and the box can't be comfortable- let alone the ' is that a real statue' comment has to get a little old. They do persevere and keep the fourth wall intact as the lowly street performer tries to make rent and elevate his art. On our last So. Cal visit we ran into these tenacious artists and watched as they freaked out and eventually charmed the kids. I also had the pleasure of watching two men ( one silver and one gold- like the girl scout song) smoking cigarettes argue about who was going to pick up some dropped equipment from their performance spot. It was hilarious . Two middle aged men ,overweight, dressed in all metallic ( even lipstick) playing chicken with a speaker. Thank you, Santa Monica. Thank you, Pasadena . You made the drive and numerous potty breaks worth it , I would give you a $20 - if I didn't give it to you already.

More is More

2009-07-27T08:19:00.003-07:00

This is Gramma Teeny Tiny ( cuz look at her) and Brother Bawden ( no nickname for him yet, Grampa Baldy?) and they have adopted my kids since their grands live far away. I have known these people my whole life and a little while ago they took my big girls to a ballet choreographed by their super talented daughter. The girls loved the ballet and them , I love them too. We have an amazing family but I am sooo thankful for wonderful friends who become family. You have heard the saying that 'you can never be too skinny or too rich' I would like to add ' never have too much haggen daz in the freezer and too many people to love and support you'. My girls love, love, love to sit by them at church ( Teeny Tiny is sweet with a pinch of sass and has a hug/smile for everyone)and has a special quiet bag just for them. He took everyone out for some DQ ( I am a big fan of the hot fudge sundae with pecans) after we helped clean the church ( I mostly kid wrangled but worked up a sweat anyway- thankyou summer) and is generous talented and kind . It is a wonderful thing to have wonderful friends!

Junk in the Trunk

2009-06-30T23:58:00.000-07:00

Why is her big booty awesome and my big booty isnt ? Maybe it's the stomach to back fat to booty ratio I 'm missin'. I should go to bed ....or go do a few squats.... or finish watchin' Kathy Griffin ..... or eat a cupcake......

100th POSTAPALOOOZA!!!!

2009-06-22T12:51:00.000-07:00

Drop the balloons and toss the confetti ! It's my 100th post!!!! If only this post mean t I would get syndicated like sitcoms with 100 shows then I would be on easy street!!! Alas , that is not my fortune but I thought I would do a little catch up on the kids for the 100th Postapaloooza :

Xander is all about his ' dress for success' style mantra and pretty much only wears button downs and ties ( bow ties preferably) but with an edgy twist ( think Jonas style not CPA) and loved the Boy Scout Camp he and Nash went to and is dreaming of big kid scouts.

Nash is a man on a mission to get a pocket knife, get baptised ,shoot bee bee guns, and someday enjoy his dream profession as an assassin or trained killer ( he and cousin Slade will share an apartment along with the career) . His style is not as defined but the cloak and fur poncho still make frequent appearances.

Remi is fancying herself an Olympic hopeful and LOVES swim and dive team. She is also missing school a little bit so she creates a classroom in the front hall pretty regularly. She is looking like a little lady-help!

Ava is remembering how to swim in her lessons and digs playing with the big kids at swim and dive everymorningmondaythruthursdayatthehorribletimeof7:35till10:35 - not that I mind.... and is a sassy and sweet mix -she's like most Asian food a perfect mix of both.

Sloan has a death wish . She is trying to get herself killed. If it isn't jumping into pools it's running out doors or like this morning escaping from me and bolting for the escalator at Dillard's ( running shoes were required and thankfully ON) as we raced after her. She is a beautiful hazel eyed ball of trouble and we all adore her and she knows it.

Kevin is working hard and hoping for more good projects to pan out any one wanna build a house or remodel I know an excellent and anal contractor! I am grateful for a catering filled last couple of weeks and the excitement of a Mediterranean cruise with my OG , Mom and Hilari- It will be AWESOME! now working on fitting into my 'resort wear' ..hmm. The kids are healthy and pretty busy with swim and dive which keeps me busy for the next few weeks . I am thankful for wonderful family and friends and the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life- really it doesn't get any better than this!

Flour, my nemesis , my love

2009-06-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

I love to make cookies and cakes ( even though Hilari is a waaay better baker than me -so are Kelli and Chelsea while we are at it) I also love homemade pancakes and waffles and German pancakes and Belgium waffles - any international spin on a breakfast carb I dig. I can't resist warm earthy bread and yeasty buttery rolls. I am a fan of all the things a bag of lowly flour can create. I just hate flour when it's all over my sweet angelic/ mischievous baby girl. I guess she was either hungry or looking for something to squish between her chubby toes.
She can run but she can't hide that runny nose and messy face gives it away every time. I guess she has flour power. Doesn't Sloan know that wheat is soooo much better for you?

6 horrible truths

2009-04-03T17:47:00.000-07:00

Miss Mary ( whom I love and worship) tagged me to write 6 mysterious and exotic true things about myself ( I added the mysterious and exotic - all I want to do is try to make my life sound more exciting by saying I am a double agent or super model or Gelato taster) I guess I will just try to be honest....

I love, nay adore beautifully ripe produce. For as long as I can remember the sight of a farmers market or the amply stocked fruits and veggies at a grocery store set my heart a flutter ! A farmers market where you support small businesses and smell and taste the delectable goods is a slice of tomato flavored Heaven. Oh, think of the rainbows of flavor, the options for dinner!!!
I am into Fun and Happy. I like finding fun in everything I do . I am not saying I don't like hard work 'cuz I do- working hard is important I just think joy can be found in most every situation . I have mucho to be happy about and thankful for. I am really trying to express my gratitude more often and be positive and excited about life no matter what.
I LOVE movies and tv ( 30 Rock,Mad Men, Reno 911, reality junk) . Mostly happy and funny( Happy Texas) or dark and funny ( Drop Dead Gorgeous) . I think you can get away with alot if it's funny( Hot Rod, Airplane) .I love art and foreign film ( Rabbit Proof Fence, My Fathers Castle , My Mothers Glory) I also love musicals ( Gypsy, SummerStock) and weird movies ( True Stories, Delicatessen). I crave oldies ( The Women, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, Life With Father ) I don't watch R's so if a film is edited and on tv I am all over it ( Old School , Godfather). Hooray for edited Tarintino!
I am trying to get back what I guess I've let go. I didn't realize how loose I've gotten but trying to tighten it all up is way less fun and much more difficult than lettin' it all flap free. This has made me realize how extremely confident I am about some things about myself and totally embarrassed/ horrified of others- trying to be a grown up self improvement lady aint easy .
My dream job changes frequently - I am lovin' that I live the married to a wonderful man and mother of 5 fab kids dream but if I could embellish it with a few more jobby jobs it would be set designer , SNL host-( I have a few sketches planned one involves false teeth and stretchy pants) ,restaurateur and big time caterer, Drag Queen ( sooo glamorous- no stretchy pants) author of cook books and chick lit ( food for crazy mommies and crazy mommy stories), event planner, artist, roller derby girl( my name will be BIG ASSETS and I will have a costume filled with dollar signs) , cabaret and opera singer, aerobics instructor, documentary film maker, master gardener, talk show host( not The View- no offense Whoopi) and personal assistant to Kathy Griffin or Jonathon Adler . I could never dream to be an accountant- Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Oh, last thing -I love junk and garbage. One mans trash is my flea market treasure ,the possibilities are endless! If I actually follow through with my artistic vision for the trash is a whole other thing. A forgotten trunk in an abandoned attic is full of possibilities - and rats - or maybe gowns from the 40's that will fit me perfectly. - A girl can dream!

There are my 6 painful truths and now I hereby declare Debra, Nicole,Charlene, Chelsea, Mom, Bobbi , Good luck it's hard to think of things and narrow them down - strange isn't it.

Booger is the new Black

2009-03-26T18:14:00.000-07:00

Super cute baby right? All but the tell tale shiny spot. That glistening snot droplet is Sloans must have accessory - she always has one . Haven't you heard that booger is the new black? That mucus is the new maxi dress? She did away with her signature look about 2 weeks ago and I was in kissy face heaven! I didn't have to worry if a salty treat would accompany my kiss goodnight or if my shoulder and legs would have mysterious matte streaks all over . Her bottom incisors came in and life was sweet! Last weekend the nightmare began and one by my kids started dropping like flies succombing to a stomach flu (24 hours- phew) and my baby was not spared - neither was my husband who has had to embrace the throne all day. Her nose is back running like a faucet and I have to do a tissue sweep before her strawberry lips touch mine. I can only dream of a snot free world where mucus does not reign supreme.

Aunt Mel is Well

2009-03-11T19:27:00.000-07:00

We were all this sad thinking we might lose our wonderful Aunt Mel ( this is not a pic of Ava crying over Aunt Mel -I like to take pic's for scrappin' but come on that seems way wrong ). A week of fervent prayer and waves of grief have affected every member of our family after Mel was comatose with a life threatening bout of pneumonia . After a week of sorrow and worry Aunt Mel is awake and crackin' jokes about being too stubborn to die and while she is learning to use her body again we are all thankful for miracles,prayer, our Heavenly Father and our selfless loving kind Aunt Mel who is always ready with a smile and hug , loves a ball game , always comes prepared with treats, loves a good joke ( bawdiness is optional), is always there when you need her and can clean a load of laundry like no buddies business ( be afraid stains she's baaaack ) . I love my Aunt Mel we all do.

The Big Girls

2009-02-27T05:48:00.000-08:00

Here are the big girls who are always ready to get their toes painted and hair curled, to break out in impromptu song and dance , dream of going to the mall, help me with any project - whether I like it or not, jump on the trampoline till their legs are wobbly , boss around the baby- I mean watch her, put on copious amounts of dress up clothes and lip gloss , valiantly try to play basketball and not double dribble, find all the slimy worms in the garden, and play Barbies till their the fingers bleed from putting on all those teeny tiny shoes- ahhhhhh, it's so fun to be a big girl and even more fun to be the big girlies Mom!

Don'tcha just Love Love?

2009-02-23T22:06:00.000-08:00

Nash loves Sloan and Sloan loves Nash.

Birthday Madness!!!!!

2009-02-20T18:48:00.000-08:00

My eldest son Xander ( who loves that X Man is a possible nickname) and middle daughter Ava ( not really like Jan at all -thank heavens) just enjoyed turning 9 and 4 ( Chucky Cheese is counting my ducats and laughing in his creepy robotic sinister way). Both had parties ( I would like to go on record as a staunch Chucky pizza hater- hello gross) with some wonderful amigos and familia .They loved planning their treat for school and the menu for breakfast and lunch plus eating off the red plate on their big days.The first two weeks of February are birthday central here and the kids make sure the birthday child is El Capitan . Ava is a little unsure of becoming a full flegged big girl ( she is struggling with remaining potty trained and every word starts with a d wether you like it or not) and Xander thinks he's pretty much a teen by now (he is dreaming of a fedora ala Jonas Bros. and reads Tolkien-sheesh). Kevin and I feel blessed to have such great kids who are unique and amazing ! ( and without a birthday to plan- aka throw together- until July when Nash and Sloan hit us with a double whammy- good thing I dig a party!)

Brothers gotta Hug!

2009-02-04T17:13:00.000-08:00

Xander and Nash compete ,adore, hate, play with, stick up for, beat up and snuggle with each other. I am lucky to have two boys who are wonderful , creative and eager to learn how to be little men. Sometimes I want to ring their necks but mostly they make me very proud.

Sugarz' for Suckaz'

2009-02-01T23:02:00.000-08:00

It has been 2 weeks without a treat (Devan and I made these to pass out at Christmas and because it was a fruit based treat I gobbled up wayyy more than my fair share) and although late at night (like right now ) or in the afternoon I sometimes feel like I would sell my firstborn for a Snickers ( sorry Xander there are a few non-perks as the eldest child) it has been ok so far... ok and merging into the not so bad lane. Deciding to do it and not worrying about what I would miss out on (Valentines candy,Sunday night dessert, and my Grandmas hot Devils food cake with warm 7 minute frosting at Devan and Ashtons showers to name a few) was the first giant step the rest has been, as the great and timeless Bill Murray sez', Baby Steps. Baby steps around the frozen section so the gravitational pull of some poor-me-I-need-a-treat-ice cream doesn't suck me in .Baby steppin through the candy/cookie aisle where the Bermuda Triangle of Oreo Rocher and Mint Milanos make me feel dizzy and clammy. Baby steps pass the kitchen where chocolate chips are waiting to be turned into pizzookies and milk begs me for some Hershey's. I don't want to go through my life where my stress and mood dictate how I treat my body. I have a whole truckload of big daddy stress right now-(who doesn't Einstein) but by being proactive (the verb not the skincare line-though I hear it works wonders) maybe I can manage everything and not gain a million more pounds maybe even lose a few .Hilari and I are doing this sugar break challenge until the end of April-her 30th Bday -so it is wonderful to have a 'sugar sponsor' to talk me down from the rice krispie ledge- and as the days go by I find I need less hand holding which is empowering and my body does seem to feel better. I feel 100% certain that I can make it the next 12 weeks -bold and brash you say , well that's how I roll - but not cinnamon roll .

gratuitous pic's of my darling kids

2009-01-26T15:33:00.000-08:00

I am a semi-busy lady and workin' on some self improvements- eat better (like NO sugary treats 8 days and counting - I deserve an award - today I am cuttin' out my great friend Mr. Bread) I am also organizin' (2 hours in the play room brought us the gift of a floor and 10,000 costumes to find a better spot for) I guess I'm working on not lettin' my natural man tendencies get the better of me. I frequently let the dishes creep up but I am making it my goal to go to bed with a clean sink ( some reading this may say 'ahhdoy !' and I know I am way behind on the consistent cleaning curve) and piles of laundry neatly folded and put away. I know ,I know it's not rocket science but I naturally want to have a tidy home but couldn't figure out how to do it - guess what the secret is -doing it. How can I be a genius and a nimrod all at once? I'm off to make my childrens tubs of memorabilia and then dinner-see how awesome I am already becoming even without toast with cinnamon sugar...oops I drooled a bit.....

Mascara + Baby = Mess

2009-01-14T14:34:00.000-08:00

Sloan is a huge fan of my mascara and all natural juice boxes. Who can blame her? They both make you feel refreshed ,healthy , hydrated and cute . I know, I know I 'm a good Mom for teaching her about the importance of maintaining a youthful glow. I am holding off on the whole Botox vs. Restalyn talk until she is 2.

I have the COOLEST most TALENTED friend!

2009-01-07T15:44:00.000-08:00

My fave amiga and roomie 4 score and 7 seven years ago ( really 10 years ago but Abraham Lincoln is way better with words than un-presidential me ) Michelle (the girl who introduced me to the delicacy of smoked oysters on ritz crackers with mustard and peanut butter as frosting )is opening an etsy shop!!!! type type type is chock full of gorg giclee prints on water color with lds inspired sayings . This is not your mommas vinyl lettering ( not that there is anything wrong with that) but cool prints ready to frame.Anyway check out her stuff at etsy ! type type type is cool and if I was cooler I could figure out how to link something..... and not use cool as my discriptive word of choice ...blurg.....

9 beautifully stinky years

2009-01-02T16:01:00.000-08:00

While checking out Craigs List my Dad (he's just discovered the wonderment of it) and sistah' Hilari ( she's an old pro)saw someone giving away a couple packs of small adult diapers in the description it said that only people that really needed them should call and no "sickos who just like wearing diapers" ( I have watched a lot of day time talk shows in my day and didn't realize that there was such a big demand for recreational diaper wearin' adults).

That lead me to think about my long term relationship with the disposable wonders - nine years of consistently changing someones poopy pants. I can't say it's been a fun nine years but it has been interesting . Not to get graphic but the human digestive system is pretty coolio. I probably have 2 years left of being intimate with another persons intimates and when I am done I don't think I'll miss it and I am sure gonna keep some wipes around ( they clean everything -even my face) but it will be an adjustment- a happy less stinky adjustment.

This is what the DMV does to you....

2008-12-29T22:59:00.000-08:00

Christmas eve I was pulled over and found out that my license had been suspended for over a year-yikes. The kindly officer didn't haul me to jail and impound my car because it was Christmas Eve and my kids were in cute matching jammies (crying that I would be taken to jail so I had them say a prayer and calm down while I stood outside the car trying to look upstanding) it was raining on us and he was fighting a cold so I think that helped him go soft on me . I lucked out. I was chauffeured around all weekend long and went to an 8 hour traffic school that was weirdly semi-enjoyable (albino with Internet bride,he/she person and neck tattoo girls were all represented) with a nice teacher and class. I braved the DMV for hopefully the last time in a long time today and got my right to drive back. HOOORRAAYY!!!! -although I will miss Kevin wearing a cap and calling me ma'am ( the plastic divider made it hard to hold hands). Thank Heavens for things that could be a whole lot worse!

Amazin' Ava

2008-12-26T09:57:00.000-08:00

Well Christmas was awesome and adventure filled (which I will blog about later )but first I got tagged to do a spread on my Ava from my fave friend Debra( I usually don't do tags for no reason in particular but one on my kids is something I can't pass up). Here are a few things that everyone should know about this lovely lil' girl 1. She loves all things girly and pink and blue 2. Dressin' up and Barbies are her faves 3. She adores her siblings and cousins and friends and will play until she passes out 4. When she is tired at night but wont go to sleep she busts out a Frankenstien EAEAEAAHHHH !!!!! that could terrify any blood thirsty mob 5. She loves to say the prayer at night and it is always sweet and hilarious and often unintelligible 6. She is a great singer and dancer and actress - a triple threat - watch out Hannah 7. Is sometimes weirdly shy and weirdly stubborn 8. Digs oatmeal and school 9.She's an accomplished snuggler 10. We are super lucky to have such a darling little gal' in our family who has a happy personality and beautiful smile. We Love Ava !!!!

Super Woman !!!

2008-12-20T07:57:00.000-08:00

Remi is showing Xander that even though she doesn't have a Lariat of Truth she is a Wonder Woman in training.Remi is a beautiful little lady she is eager to learn ,happy to help and a very loving sensitive gal - oh who is also super duper strong.

Is that you Santa Claus?

2008-12-15T16:44:00.000-08:00

Last week on a shopping trip for a catering job Hilari and I spied with our little eyes a Santa wannabe! I loved that he exploited his natural white beard and love of hats to don a Santa cap and red fleece zip up. Ava and Cruz were terrified of the man but after he stopped shopping in the hard liquor aisle ( not that I care if a man wants to spike his hot cocoa but it is funny to see Santa comparison shop the 40 proofs -we all have to get warm in the winter somehow) we called him over to try for a pic' - the kids wouldn't have it so I jumped in and Hilari took the pic' . I only got this one off as he was walking away to find the cookie aisle no doubt. I love any season that encourages dressing up.Only a week and a half left for this guy to get accosted in big bulk stores...don't ya just love Christmas!

Garge Sale of the Century

2008-12-14T08:46:00.000-08:00

About a month ago Hilari and I rallied the troops and had "The Best Garage Sale On Earth" -well that's what we told all our customers. We had tons of stuff and Hilari had piles and piles of boys clothes and mens clothes she snuck outa Jason side of the closet. I didn't have all that much to offer up because even though my cleaning prowess is similar to Roseanne Connors ( that was her last name on the show but we all know it should have been Barr cuz it was basically an autobiography even with weird DJ in the mix) I am pretty good at getting rid of stuff I don't need - not perfect but I say 84% good.Even though my merch ( in the biz you call merchandise 'merch') was lacking my spirit to sell was not and in a brilliant stroke of genius I decided to sell back rubs for $3 and compliments for $o.50. I even resorted to busting out a sign that said singing telegrams for $1 ( but they had to be delivered in my driveway which was not that great of a business plan) . I didn't sell one back rub or compliment though I busted out a few semi-unwanted hugs. We managed to sell a bunch of stuff and give away a few gifts with purchase - people loved that.We said our garage sale would make their minds explode and I think Hilari and I along with 8 candy/lemonade sales people managed to do just that- oh and compliments are still only $0.50 .....stock up for Christmas.

Post It Face LIves!!!!!

2008-12-11T15:38:00.000-08:00

Just when Meat Hand mysteriously disappeared another hideously deformed creature made his debut.... The Post It Face Monster!!!! Who knew that something so useful like non-permanent glue backed pieces of paper could be so grotesque? Hide your office supplies, petty cash and especially inter-office memos (the ones about old food in the fridge and the birthday comitee are particularly anger inducing ) he could strike at any time! Consider Yourself Warned ......

The Bee and Me...A One Sided Love Story

2008-12-07T22:33:00.000-08:00

That is one big disgruntled bee and I would like to start this off by saying I am a full on bee supporter. I am Pro-Bee . I saw The Bee Movie, enjoy Sue Bee Honey , used Burts Bee's lip balm ( not very often cuz' that stuff is spendy) ,and watched the 60 minutes where they talk about how all the bee's are disappearing and how we aren't going to be able to raise crops without them and bee keepers are going out of business cuz' a mizillion bee's are takin' a vacay cuz' of cell phones (- even Andy Rooney's do ya ever wonder why we get junk mail segment couldn't erase my concern).So I have alotta' love for our friends the bees and was shocked when one decided to rummage around my hair and sting my finger while I was gingerly shooing it away.So 4 days later my useful pointer finger and surrounding tissue has become a hand of fleshy swollen goodness. Saturday night it was at its worse and I gave it a nickname of Meat Hand or McMeaty for short. Antibiotics are helping the swelling and Benedryl is keeping the itchiness at bay while also delivering a substantial buzz.The kids said my hand looked like a lil' baby hand all round fatty and pink. I have developed a healthy respect for all the things my left hand does for me like hold things and pet things and touch things - I really really like my left hand. I also harbor no ill will towards that wayward bee. I was always on his side ( I love bees wax candles and look pretty good in yellow and black) and the fact that a bee didn't take the time to get to know me better and realize I am not a threat is just a life lesson- or end of life lesson for the bee cuz' I think they die after they sting you. I still love you bees . In spite of my obvious disfiguring allergy to bees I will always be your #1 fan. Let me be the wind beneath your teeny tiny hardworking wings.

Thankyou, Thankyou Very Much

2008-12-04T08:05:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of Nash as Alien Elvis ....you're welcome.

Weirdness

2008-12-02T18:28:00.000-08:00

I have seen and heard a lot of weird stuff today. The seen part is all hair related, actually fake hair related. Exhibit A the Gal ( I feel like my Glammom saying Gal - not that there is anything wrong with that) who watches the kids at the gym had crazy rows of extensions totally visible and I didn't know if that was an oops my slip is caught in my unders situation where I should alert her or if that was a fashion choice. I chose the latter and was grateful she wasn't busting out white after Labor Day.. Exhibit B an Older Lady ( think Golden Girls old not Desperate Housewives old-not that they are old or anything) in Wallymart had super short hair with a long dirty blonde clip on pony on the top of her head TOP of her head. Exhibit C a Rotund Man jogging ( who looked like Rodney Dangerfield may he rest in peace getting some much deserved respect) with very little light colored hair on the bottom and a bright orangeish toupee on top- like sitting right on top -like a bird resting on a prickly branch - get the visual? Then I see that this dude above thought it would be awesome to get a guy pooping shaved into his head. Now I give him points for moxie but execution and flair leave much to be desired.
On to heard weird stuff! Nash informed me that he is in fact part werewolf and has super speed with a dash of super strength ( Think shirt ripping guy from the Bachelorette now a fave on The Soup). Xander said that most people with his type of nose ( cute and button like) tend to have short stubby fingers - like his- who knew? All this weirdness in one day - when did I get sooo lucky?!

Thankful Hands

2008-11-28T18:44:00.000-08:00

I have 5 blessings and I can count them on one hand so I can never forget to be thankful. I don't usually forget how lucky I am but sometimes my fingers remind me.

On Thanksgiving an Elastic Waistband is your BFF

2008-11-26T21:32:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the Big Feast and I happen to enjoy any holiday devoted to eating and thanking. We have our gingerbread houses ( more like dilapidated ramshackle huts) ready to decorate and each kid is stoked to lick and stick multitudes of stale and fresh candies to their graham clapboarded sides. I have two assignments one fully cooked moist and lovely 18.5 lb.turkey (tofurkeys need not apply) and a 20lb. vat of buttery delicious mashed potatoes ( pipe down potato buds we don't take kindly to you in these parts either). I can't decide on my attire sweat pants seem too obvious a choice and leggings a tad too constrictive. I wish I could come to my Gramma's in my trusty leopard and rose print muumuu and call it a day. However that may send the wrong message like I stopped taking my meds or I missed the bus to the next Bold and Beautiful Fan convention. I promise I will shower and wear deodorant and the whole shebang but if I have to explain my competitive -eating- beginning -amateur- noncompetitive- status as I dive head first into a beautifully crusted chocolate cream pie to my hard of listening familia again I think I may have to eat another whole pie to numb the pain(maybe there will be a coconut cream!!- a girl can dream....) Have a great Turkey Day chock full of Thanks and pie and rivers of gravy!

Sticky Sweet Baby

2008-11-23T12:41:00.000-08:00

I love my sticky jelly filled crumb coated chocolate dipped praline spackled deep fried sugar glazed Baby Sloan.

Danger Man

2008-11-20T18:43:00.000-08:00

This is my brave hubz Kevin taking on a wild and woolly mesquite tree a few months ago. It never had a chance. With brains and brawn he felled that Tower of Pisa so it could never again split in the wind and threaten our neighbors jerry-rigged sheds and tarps. (Seriously if you need any old McDonalds seating a full sized John Wayne poster ,giant stuffed parrots or various Corona/ Pabst Blue Ribbon memorabilia they will hook you up because they are nice and have TONS of crap-I mean treasures) Kevin bested that thorny beast and didn't kill himself or become paralyzed -which would have really gotten me grouchy- and I am glad to have such a handy handsome man around my house-seriously check out that booty!

Down but not Out

2008-11-19T09:10:00.000-08:00

This is me.... Well me if you add a broom , stinky sheets, kids homework , pile of laundry , scrubber for deep bathroom cleaning- I'm a deep cleaner!!bowl of ice cream ( I discovered that adding broken up lady fingers to it makes a cakey ice cream combo that Pee Wee once told me about at his Playhouse in the late 80's and I always dreamed of enjoying-DELISH!), couple hurt teeth , bum shoulder, and a healthy dose of Tivo'd Real and Desperate Housewives.Sorry I've been awol but I've been busy and neglecting my blog -sorry again blog .My clothes don't have nearly as many holes as hers and thankfully flip flops are readily available and I have sisters and friends and parents and a hubz and I bet she wishes she at least had Tivo. I'll blog again soon but only after I finsh cleaning out the fridge- I know I'm blowing your mind with my cleanliness is next to Godliness ways!

Trickin' and Treatin' pic's

2008-11-05T19:46:00.000-08:00

Adios Undead Amigos

2008-11-03T15:41:00.000-08:00

Halloween was pretty much off the chizane this year cuz we threw 2 parties and attended 3 more !Then got to Trick orTreat in this tricked out ride that has 6 seats (comfortable with the latest stadium seating) and raked in alot of loot. We walked around my parents neighborhood and the kids loved being at the Glamparents, getting ready together and giving a few standing O's to some dedicated homeowners Ghoulish decorations( think body bags with severed limbs,smoke bubbles and giant spiders).I went as some form of crazy mumuu wearing lady sporting a fine unibrow and afro for effect. Kevin was a Chippendale at one party and a clown at another- don't worry I brought a few $$$ for the dancer-I am a good tipper! Xander was the Phantom of the Opera(red rose included) Nash was Elvis (pelvic thrust not optional) Remi as a dead Zombie Bride (eyes black as night!)Ava was a Pretty Princess( glitter and red lips) and Sloan was a Lady Bug. I am ready to say goodbye to the undead and hello to the actual dead (Pilgrims, Indians and nice fatty turkeys with stuffing) as we enter November. Farewell vampire rats, black widows,ghosts and costco sized drums of fake blood - you were all awesome!I am excited for Starbucks Hot chocolate and pumpkin pie and an occasional hoodie . ...I will miss my mumuu .

My secret Dream.....

2008-10-28T17:50:00.000-07:00

I know what you are thinking 'That's a lot of neon swim caps!' my thoughts exactly. I am also thinking that my secret life long goal (not the one to host SNL)is to do a tri ( when you are cool and actually DO triathlons you call 'em tri's) is about to come to fruition.While I do not run unless being chased by a rabid dog or something and I do not swim long distances ( does water aerobics count?) and I currently don't even own a bike much less a road bike ( when you are cool and DO tri's you call it a road bike) I still think I can get my act together for the Malibu Tri next Sept . So I am going to do a few races between now and then to get ready. My first will be Dec.6th and then I am eyeing a 1/2 marathon in January. My feet hurt thinking about it because I seriously can barely run for 10 min. straight! Anyway I want to try and do this for my health and just to prove to myself that I can( In high school I used my powers of persuasion to get out of EVERY mile run cuz' running pretty much sucks) .So I am telling everyone so I can have some accountability and a few extra prayers cuz' I am scared!

Sorry Blog, it was my fault..

2008-10-27T06:34:00.000-07:00

Me and my peeps - lovin' us some monkey face Danny.

Chelsea and I sisters in love.

I haven't forgotten my promise to post a few pic's from the mostawesomestconcertever but if you want to view a few more and read about Chelsea's bra slingin' in excruciating detail ( also her best, most funny and possible wet pants inducing blog yet) click here http://livininthecopa.blogspot.com
My bloggin' has taken a back seat to my busy life recently 2 Halloween parties (adults only and costume NOT optional -I got my groove on Stella is not taking it back) 1 kid Halloween party,1 catering job,a 31st birthday -mine -yep' I'm legit' in my 30's now . No more 29-ish it's early thirties all the way for me! Blog kept tuggin' on my mind and now I'm back baby and dont worry little blog I won't forget you again...I'm sorry.

NKOTB for you and me

2008-10-14T07:33:00.001-07:00

Last night the Heavens parted and I witnessed a miracle I never dreamed could happen! My beloved NKOTB ( New Kids On The Block for those of you woefully unfamiliar with the late 80's dream boats) reunited and put on the show of shows and the screaming thirty somethings couldn't get enough. We ( my 4 fab sisters and I) had fab seats on the floor in the middle and then ( half way through the show) out of nowhere the Kids got on a stage about 20 feet from us and performed a few choice songs! We convinced Chelsea ( lets face it she didn't need much convincing and she had the most no bra friendly outfit) to remove her red bra and chuck it at 'em -Devz tried and failed then Chels had to search the middle aged cankles of the audience for the crimson number. Just as soon as they popped up in the sea of estrogen they were gone and rushed passed Hilari and I as we touched ( grabbed,accosted, molested) each New Kid as they sped by . Heaven isn't too far away!Kelli danced the WHOLE time and we bonded with one another last night in a deep and profound way- like when you serve in a war or survive a natural disaster together. I have pictures - LOTS of pictures- Don't worry my pets you will get a glimpse of the mayhem and beauty of the show and it will make your mind Explode. Get the paper towels ready-its gonna get messy.

The Grass Isnt always Greener

2008-10-10T20:39:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking this week about gratitude and being thankful for the challenges we get to have in this life. Sometimes I have felt some trials were almost insurmountable and then prayer,faith and time corrects my flawed thinking and voila the problem is gone or changed. Luckily it changes me too. I get to learn patience ,humility and meekness in a way I would not have without a little (or a lot of) struggling. Everyone has hard things to deal with and I guess just being grateful for the opportunity to grow ( sometimes I think I've grown enough!) is what I need to shoot for. No one has a perfect life or one without some stress.I have always heard that if everyone put their problems in a pile you'd pick up yours again.Like Kanye says " That that don't kill me can only make me stronger" sing it to me sweet Mr. West.

Remi is 6!!!

2008-10-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Remi! She is a great little girl who is sensitive, kind and a little spunky.She is smart ,loves learning to read and is a great singer and organizer of her two littler sisters. She loves all things fashion and music related( she puts on cabaret performances pretty much everyday with Ava and Sloan).She can keep up with her big brothers but definitely enjoys being a girl.Remi is a good helper and a wonderful member of the fam'. We love our Remi !!! Have fun being 6!!!!

Nice Work if You Can Get It

2008-10-07T06:40:00.000-07:00

A couple weekends ago the kids were bitten by the entrepreneurial bug and couldn't go another minute without setting up a lemonade stand/work stand. The girls have been dying to set up shop with crystal light lemonade and service with a smile.The boys came up with the name 'Houdinis of Work' and a slogan "We make your Work/Labor Disappear"( don't even try to steal it it's totally copyrighted) . Flyer's were made and passed out and a few kind friends have already called them for odd jobs. Xander is drawing for .75$ a page and Nash said he can do all the heavy lifting because he is soooo strong. They are on their way to being able to buy the coveted Batman Lego game and become millionaires ( they've promised me an old convertible and Kevin a mansion house). Kevin made them a proper lemonade stand so no more Home Depot boxes will be harmed -

and the kids helped paint it and are sooo proud of their new business digs.Keep workin' kids- Momma needs a new pair of shoes!.

Lions and Tigers and Stinky Kids Oh ,my!

2008-10-03T20:27:00.000-07:00

Squinty eyes , sweaty foreheads and desert filled exhibits mean one thing-a trip to the Zoo. Hot sweaty fun was had by all even when the "free admission" to the Zoo turned out to be not so free. As the temp rose into the triple digits we saw beasties in all shapes and sizes and even visited Monkey Village where you couldn't touch anything because it was all 'marked' by the free range monkeys- it smelled marked too ( I love the smell of fresh monkey urine in the morning!).The Zoo was packed but my little animals didn't mind one bit they were happy and stinky and dusty! I think next time we'll wait till sweater weather to venture into the animal kingdom -only 2 more months to go- I cant wait, my hoodies are getting restless!

Thankyou for bein' a friend!

2008-09-29T20:14:00.000-07:00

Ava and her bestie Maddy at our ward boating trip looking fine and havin' fun.Ava prays for Maddy every night and she talks about her all the time , ALL the time( I worry about her stalker tendencies) she just adores her little friend.It is sooo wonderful to have good people lovin' you!I would like to give a big shout out to kind good friends and fam' who do public and secret acts of service for us all the time. The Lord uses us as instruments for good and it can sometimes turn into a symphony of kind acts .Thankyou.We are truly blessed . Truly.

Good Dad

2008-09-24T10:57:00.000-07:00

I have a wonderful Father and I am always grateful for the love, humor and kindness that has helped him lead our family. I am also grateful that my kids get to have the same kind of Dad.

Cheetah Part Dos

2008-09-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

I swear this is the last Cheetah pic .... for awhile.It is just so cute I had to share it .Too Bad Tyra doesn't do a show for the 8 and under set.Xander is still workin' the Blue Steel- you go Zoolander wannabe.

Action Vest Revealed

2008-09-18T06:45:00.000-07:00

A few questions have been raised about my sweet Nash's Action Vest.I will do my best to clear up the matter because of its important and pressing nature. Nash received the Action Vest when Glamma Fabulous made it for a cowboy costume when he was 1- 6 years ago. It was dubbed "Action Vest" because he likes to wear it when he does his ninja-karate-breakdance-secret agent moves and of course his gravity defying flips.He even brought it to church for his spotlight on Sunday . He has been known to sleep , eat and even wear it under other clothes (I put a kibosh on that one I assure you ) .He is also fond of a big black cheap cape that I sewed a little head hole in and he refers to it as his Mystery Cloak ( sometimes Devil Cloak or Dark Knight Cloak )and skulks around the house hiding and 'disappearing' into the walls to trick me. I 've gotta' hand it to the little dude cuz' a few times he really got me good. Watch out when the Cloak and Action Vest pair up it gets Crazy Up In Here!

Blue Cheetah Steel

2008-09-16T17:50:00.000-07:00

Friday Night Movie Night took a crazy turn a few weeks ago when during the world premiere of the Cheetah Girls 'One World' movie (I know you are sooo jealous)the kids busted out anything remotely animal print and gave us a fabulous fashion show. Notice Xanders Blue Steel and Nash in his infamous Action Vest.Ava and Remi were ravishing and cheetahrific in all their ensembles. It was a great night and another reason to love Friday Night Movie Night.

Planet of Ava

2008-09-10T13:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my wonderful Aunt Mel watched the little girls so I could run a few errands and help at the big kids school without toting around my pink minions. I guess while I was gone they were joking and having fun when Ava said to her " Get off me you Dirty APE" Mel laughed and I am still slightly horrified that she said it to our sweet Aunt Mel and that she remembered our Planet of the Apes movie marathon awhile ago. Charlton Heston is totally appropriate for 3 year olds! Seriously though "Get yer' hands off me ya' damn dirty ape!" is one of the best lines of all time and isn't an education in classic film a pre-rec' for kindergarten?

My Baby's Left Foot

2008-09-09T15:56:00.000-07:00

Before our feet are ruined by walking and being crammed into shoes they look like sweet Sloans.All peachy and perfectly perfect.

Watch Out Big Daddy!

2008-09-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

This weekend the boy cousins got to have some manly bonding time with Grampa Fabulous and the girls and I had some Lady Time. On our way back from dropping them off Remi said "Hey Mommy we are all girls in the car! It's a GIRL TRAP! Where's Daddy?" I said at work and that he'd be home in awhile then she replied " Daddy better watch out we are going to destroy him!" Luckily no one was destroyed and after movie night Remi and Kevin had a camp out in the living room and Ava and I had a snugglefest in my cozy bed- couch sleepin' doesn't thrill me like it once did. Today after the girls gave each other 'makeovers'-I had two very freaky lookin' girls on my hands...think Heath Ledger as Joker- we went to the dollar store and the girls thought they were in heaven picking out the perfect one dollah' prize .Up and down the aisles we went with every suggestion I made shot down - it was a good prep for me for future teenage clothes shopping- until a suitable pink hair covered head band and castle shaped makeup kit was found.After baths this evening we had a beauty parlor and I gave some wicked mani pedis to ALL the little ladies.( P.S. 1 yr.olds have a hard time getting toe polish on just their toes) The boys came home worn out by fun and it was good times all around! How was your weekend?

Boys + Grampa = Awesomeness

2008-09-06T19:57:00.000-07:00

Viva Lucha!

2008-08-29T14:04:00.000-07:00

Maybe you dont know this but I L O V E love the fab Mexican fighting masks. Lucha Libre...ahhhh the theatrical show of strength, the pagentry of it all, the boudless amounts of churros I am sure they sell at the matches. I found american fake wrestling when I was a young babysitter and nothing else was on basic cable at 11:00 on a Saturday night ( that was BEFORE I discovered the awesomeness of SNL -another story-and TBS movie marathons) I enjoyed Macho Man , Ultimate Warrior and of course Hulk Hogan- love me some bright yellow feather boas- and I didnt think any thing else could compare but the Masks of our resourceful neighbors to the south won me over. A few years ago my Glam Mom and sisters and I went on a little cruise to Mexico and all my pesos were spent on Masks. I found baby sized ,fringed, furry,and pleather beauties and now my costume obsessed kids and I can revel in their coolness.I also adore any sport that gets a costume (dodgeball ,rollerderby or ballet anyone?) and I think we should bring back the fancy swim caps of yesteryear ( Esther Williams was soo glamorous). Wrestling with a costume always looks cool even if its lame.Ava and Nash rock the Masks too.

Bathing Beauties

2008-08-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

I love just bathed tangle free girls who smell like soap and look shiny and squeaky clean.Fresh out of the tub into jams and jump right into a book then bed(hopefully with some teeth brushing mixed in). What could be better?

FUN!

2008-08-23T07:27:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago we went to the drive in and saw two lame-ish kids movies Meet Dave ( talking about the career choices of Eddie Murphy is another blahg entirely) and Chimps in Space ( it was about chimps in space). The misquitos were rampant and the heat didnt die down till the 2nd movie but it was till alot of fun.(I should add that we didnt get home till 12:30 am and our church starts at 9:00 am so do the math- life hangovers were had by all ) I remember going to the drive in when I was little pilling in the car with tons of blankets and homemade popcorn and having a blast . So I would like to give a shout out to my Mommie Fabulous for taking us to the drive in and doing a million other things that encouraged us to have fun as a family and bring us closer together. Thanks to an awesome Mom who made everything FUN!

Personal Space

2008-08-18T17:59:00.000-07:00

Firstly - check out my cute #1 and #4 - Secondly I would like to say that most people have phobias ,quirks, and or a general dislike for face grease swapping that may make a face to face smoosh like this uncomfortable.I don't think that idiosyncrasy shows itself in children until at least the tween years. My kids like to be ALL up in my bidness' . We live in a constant smoosh fest. I have a few kids who would like nothing more than to press their whole body against mine for a full night of sweaty sleepy time. One daughter thinks secret telling means holding your whole face and breathing heavily into your ear( I know a couple different names for that). I guess it doesn't really bug me except when I need good sleep or a little bit of a flesh pressing break. They aren't always going to want to be all over my lap or to have me rub their back or tell me elaborate reasons why the jokers minions should have jackets of a different shade of purple.I need to embrace ( literally and figuratively ) the chances I've got to pile all together on the couch and force them to watch old movies, have scared half asleep kids suffocate me in my sleep and hug it out when they are grouchy at me for any reason at all. Personal Space Shmershonal Space

It was the Best of Times it was the Worst of Times....

2008-08-15T09:56:00.000-07:00

Today is our 10 year anniversary. A decade that has literally flown by. Yesterday I was thinkin' about how much we have changed how much our lives have changed and I felt so happy that we have 5 kids 2 small businesses and still manage to dig eachother.I was thinking all of this when I heard a frantic yell from the other side of the house.I ran to assess the damage and saw Xander having a puke fest in the bathroom while trying desperately to keep the baby out of it. We got the scene of the crime under control and then I called Kevin to share the news and he couldn't chat it up cuz' the bathroom he was remodeling was being grouted ( Ya' know time sensitive) .Anyway, I was cleaning vomit out of tile and grout while he was laying tile and grout ( Alanis might say this is ironic) . I thought how Lucky I am to have a partner in this life who works hard along side me for the good of our family.Lucky to have a honest righteous man who loves me and loves and respects our children and who is ambitious and wants us to succeed . Lucky to have a man who will wear most any costume I assign him and bust out his world famous worm dance if the mood strikes. I am Lucky to to have someone who will apologize when he needs to and wants me to be happy. I say I am Lucky but I also realize that Luck is only a small part of the equation cuz' 10 years ago we picked eachother and everything that went along with it. We decided to be married, to have our wonderful kids and to live according to the will our Heavenly Father. No matter what good or bad the future holds for us I am grateful to have Kevin to share it with. 10 years down and an Eternity to go Yeah for Us!!!!

School is Cool !

2008-08-14T16:37:00.000-07:00

This is the best back to school shot we got this year, 3 kids looking at the camera 1 looking off to the side and 1 looking at something much more interesting seems to be as good as it's gonna get. The kids were filled with same mixed feelings I've been having.Xander misses his 2nd grade super fun teacher and the 3rd grade is gettin down to business time so he's missing the freedom and coloring homework of his youth.Nash misses me ALOT - he's a tender heart and has a hard time with change but he digs his teacher so I'm sure it'll be fine.Remi is very excited to be a kindergardener but kinda' forgot what it was like to be gone all day .Ava LOVES everything about preschool and just wants more of it. Sloan and I have had to adjust to the new schedule and it was fun to play with just her for a few hours today.So the first week back is almost over but its full steam ahead for another year of homework , book fairs , playdates and half eaten lunches hooray!!!!

Adios mis Amigos!

2008-08-07T21:41:00.000-07:00

I guess SOMEONE is sad (that's a sad face isnt it?)that her big brothers and sisters are about to end their summer-o-fun and head back to their 9 to 3 day jobs -elementary school( and Ava is pickin' up a preschool shift-she does it strictly for the discounts). I would echo that sentiment whole heartedly if it wasn't peppered with a teeny tiny bit of WOOOHOOOO!!!!!! lets face it we can only go to the movies and swim and play on the computer and Wii till our eyes bleed for so long . So we have 3 days left of Summer 08' and I'm crying and enthusiastically jumping up and down at the same time.

Sunday with the Fam'

2008-08-04T11:04:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when we drive to Glamma and Grampa Fabulous' house - every Sunday we pile in the car and the kids who havent enjoyed a siesta before the trek pass out in the warm car. Xander uses his super human stay-awake powers to draw all the way there. I love listenin' to Wait Wait Dont Tell Me ( my fave news /quiz/ joke show on NPR ) and Kevz likes it too (even though he acts like its waaay to liberal for him -yes, he's my not so closet conservative) . We try to guess the answers to the Quiz and the kids drool away till we reach their fave place for some fine chow last night it was- salmon with lime and butter, steamed veggies ,lovely salad with feta and avocado , fresh summer fruits and for dessert a little (lets face it a big ol' slab) pound cake with fresh whipped cream and sweetened strawberries I would like to see Martha do any better . We have a wonderful time seeing cousins and Aunties and Uncles and of course the Glammz laughing and wrangling the kids. I love Sundays . I Love them more with my whole fam'. What do you like about Sundays?

Eating Disorder ala Sloan

2008-07-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

I am concerned for my little Sloan because she has taken to eating things in secret.The other day I found her under the kitchen table enjoying a deliciously ripe peach -alone and without a napkin ,plate or anything! I think she may need an intervention ( isnt hiding or sneaking around with your food the first sign ?). Granted the girl can't talk yet , just barely learned to walk and is is unable to reach any type of kitchen implement to help make her devouring of the peach less tribal - but I'm a bit worried. When I tried to take the peach carcass away from her she threw herself on the floor and cried then tried to stumble off with its juicy goodness.... if that's not denial I dont know what is.

Welcome to Barter Town!

2008-07-27T07:24:00.001-07:00

This entry is not about my eternal love for my 'Proud Mary' Miss Tina(and Oprah Bestie), or about how much I once adored the charismatic Mel but how his mug shot and drunken rants have tarnished his glow a bit. It isnt even about how much I love the 3rd installment of the fab Mad Max movies ( remember the feral children ,the little dude on the shoulders of the big masked guy, the THUNDERDOME for heavens sake!) . Nope its about my new found love of haggeling ( negotiating a lower price) or bartering ( trading crap you dont want for good stuff). I was still pretty much embarrassed to do it but I saw an expose' about it ( Geraldo was no where to be seen ) and I thought I'd give it a try . Well, at WallyMart I got the customer service guy to sell me a pretty crepe paper bouquet from Martha Stewart for 90% off cuz the box was a little smooshed . To be honest I was just messin' with the man but he went for it so I've thrown caution ( and self respect..... dignity left in April) to the wind and will now be asking for a finders fee for milk and eggs and playing lets make a deal for basic t's at the Gap. In highschool we would always ask for free 'tasting fries ' at Mc D's and for some reason that always worked so Im goin' back to my roots and will trade a hug for a creme filled Dunkin Donut if that counts as bartering.

Watch Out World Bartering Brooke is here to stay!

Jealous Much ?

2008-07-25T23:06:00.000-07:00

See this gang of rough necks from the mean streets of Bahstan (gratutitous accent) guess who gets to revel in all their glory and bask in the sunshine that is New Kids On The Block ?!? Yep' its me and my 4 sistah' who will all enjoy a little 'Please don't go Girl' and you know I won't be able to sit still when the 'Oh Oh OHH OOhOOOH The Right Stuff ' comes blaring out of their collective mouth . I cant wait till October ! Its gonna be Amazing! Sorry to make you green with envy if ya' cant go - I promise to try to get a lock of Joeys hair.

Leia Jr.

2008-07-23T17:47:00.000-07:00

Remi requested this classic 'do in honor of Princess Leia .I was grateful she didnt want the Jabba the Hut .Lets face it Carrie Fisher was a gun slingin' princess hottie! I think it turned out pretty cute -dont you?

Cousins Gotta Hug!

2008-07-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

Xander and Blue a Dynamic Duo.

These two have a love for all things Super Hero and an unflinching resolve to be best buddies forever.This pair likes to draw, play sports and think of ways to get my sister and I to let them spend the night. They have already planned to be roomies in college and enjoy manly times hiking and playing together.Blue is a gifted chess player and QB and Xander is an amazing artist and has a love for football as well . They are each lucky to have such a devoted wing man.

EXTREME CLOSEUP!

2008-07-22T11:08:00.000-07:00

I guess Sloan was " Ready for my Closeup Mr Demille " when I snapped this shot of our rowdy little one year old! She has taken to walking like a competitive eater to hot wings -dove right in and barely chews. She is into EVERYTHING and loves to swim and dance and clap and talk and talk and talk. We all love our little Sloaney Balogna who smells like Macaroni and eats Chicarones! Hooray for our wonderful little girl!!!

The Man and the Mystery

2008-07-17T21:29:00.000-07:00

My love for Mr. Smalley is pretty much unmatched and his encouraging mantra " Im Good enough Im Smart enough and Dogonit People Like Me" is like a beacon in the night.I have been known to repeat it when I need a little confidence boost.We share common foibles such as bad haircuts ( I just took the shears to my own locks and it aint pretty ) and emotional eating ( happy or sad Haggen Daz never lets me down ) and sometimes doubting ourselves . From his sunny sweaters down to his maniacal grin I knew we'd be forever Besties since the first time I stayed up late on a Saturday night and saw that mirror loving man. Thankyou Stuart for giving a voice to that scared little child in all of us and for making a highly underrated film ( much like my other dear friend Pat) which is a cinematic therapy session.

Now give yer' self a group hug!

She'll Git 'Er

2008-06-18T19:27:00.000-07:00

My Grampa Smith came up with the phrase "She'll Git' 'Er " -it means yer kids (you can put in a They or He'll if ya need to ) will basically trash all yer' stuff and alot of theirs too. Well I found this doll ( who's headed for the Island of Misfit Toys ) and no one knows how she met her untimely demise. How convenient. I was raised to value people and relationships in infinitely higher esteem than things and I ( like Neil Diamond the Master Himself ) am a Believer. Yesterday that was put to the test when Remi was taking a pic' of the baby starting to walk (3 to 4 steps mind you!) and tripped over my bro -in -law's ( really just Bro) foot and wrecked our camera. Its a pretty nice camera and I am constantly taking pics so it was kind of a big bummer . Remi's big blue eyes instantly filled with tears and I know her tender heart was breaking. I just told her that I knew it was an accident and not to worry and that a little corporal punishment could pay off her debt to the family- no seriously I said we all have accidents and its ok -she did'nt need to worry. I am truly sad cuz we are goin on a vacay soon and excited about the photo op's - but que sera sera cameras and dolls come and go but we are stuck with our sweet little kids forever.

Ps . The little doll had a dignified and touching funeral-in lieu of flowers send checks to me for the camera fund.

She sells Sea shells .....

2008-06-15T20:58:00.000-07:00

I dig this crazy shell and coral mirror and my goal is to make one just like it someday! The stack of Buddahs , perfectly placed books , and koi statuary are also calling to my inner asian .I am also coveting a couch without 3 feet deep of laundry . A girl can dream..

Have Chopsticks Will Travel

2008-06-11T07:11:00.000-07:00

What is better than an animated Jack Black movie with the ancient art of Kung Fu, super awesome villain( the dad from Hot Rod), and my fave dance song of all time(Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting-built in karate dance moves!!!) as the theme song, and David Cross as a Crane ?Well my movie mavens throw in some chopsticks for popcorn grazing and you've got yourself a partay!

2008-06-10T17:13:00.001-07:00

GET YER SWIM ON!!!!!

2008-06-10T16:48:00.000-07:00

We had a Fun Swim Luau Party at our O.g's yesterday (hot dogs , hamburgers, leis, decorations-the works!) Xander got to help pick the food and decor with O.G .Every single kid ate and swam and had a great time! Auntie Mel helped and Uncle Dave cooked(he makes a mean hot dog!). I am super lucky to have a wonderful Gramma OG and Auntie Mel who live nearby!I am apt to get a little teary when I think how awesome it is to have my family be such a big part of my life!My kids are lucky to have best buddies as cousins! It is truly a blessing for us to have so many people that love us!! Thankyou OG Auntie Mel and Uncle Dave!!

Slip Slidin' Away

2008-06-09T18:26:00.000-07:00

A lovely evening at the park that included balmy pre-eyescorching weather,5 kids who were happy to have the playground as their um, playground and I (free activity loving mother)was very content to leave with only 1 bloody nose ,a few scrapes , 2 desperate potty seakers and some cute pics of the lot of them. 'Aint Summer Grand!

Crazy Remi!

2008-06-06T09:27:00.000-07:00

Check out my big girl Remi shes taking direction from our budding photog Nash-I guess he said open your mouth and mess up your hair!

Hazardous Haberdashery

2008-06-02T09:18:00.000-07:00

Today just 25 minutes ago I heard a yell -not a little scream but a grown man freak out yell - it was brief then was followed by a baby cry -loud one.I was like 'Its not even 9:00 yet whats with all the yelping?' then (since I have super senses) I realized that Kevin was hurt.I ran down the hall to see a lonely hat in the hall way and Kev said a SCORPION bit him on the head -it was IN his hat! The baby was crawlin' around his feet while he was brushing his teeth and putting the finishing touches on his outfit (i.e. the hat). I scooped up the baby and put her in her jail(crib) and that was as bad as a scorpion bite to her. Kev' wants me to write that he was very brave and then took the 'baseball cap of danger' outside with the evil scorpion in it to meet its maker. Kevin is fine and so is baby Sloan and I doubt that this experience will deter him from head coverings but it may make him check inside before donning it.

All Aboard ....

2008-05-30T18:03:00.000-07:00

P.S Ive got a cute and funny 3 year old who will sit while I braid her hair -Which she has stopped trimming herself (I think she wants to look like Miley Cyrus -is that good or bad?) so the mullet train has thankfully left the station.Unfortunately the makeup wearing bra wanting one has arrived.Heaven help me.

Nash is A Poser

2008-05-28T12:48:00.000-07:00

Nash is a wonderful little man! He is full of energy and enthusiasm!Nash is a great brother and is a very hard worker and has a huge desire to learn and try new things .Nash is an amazing athlete and future break dancer and gymnast.I can always count on him for a good squeezey hug and he also digs posing when its time for a picture! Here are a few classics from his diverse repetoire. I love my Kung Fu Nasher.

sisters

2008-05-27T08:53:00.000-07:00

Check out my bathing beauties.Nothing is better than 3 cute girls who are happy and clean.

Props to the PoPo

2008-05-25T21:33:00.000-07:00

So I came home tonight to find my front door WIDE open and I couldnt remember if I had locked the door or not( I have been burglarized 2 times and attempted once before so I know to leave the investigating to the pros ) I called 911 and sent the kids across the street and waited for them to come. 2 officers checked out the house and we decided that it was all my fault and nary a bad guy could be found. Phew...So after I explained to the officers that a bad guy must have snuck in and left a Mount Everest of laundry on the couch and a few dirty dishes on the sink and of course it was a bad guy that decided to dump out the whole Tub -o -Barbies so he could find that perfect evening dress for a date with Ken I realized something - I should clean my house as if a policeman was going to have to search it ! I always thought you keep a home clean because order and cleanliness is next to godliness and it promotes a happy home but knowing the PoPo may have to check out yer' skivies drawer gives it a whole new sense of urgency. This was the 3rd time I' ve had to call the police and have them check out my crib and each time I wished I would have wiped or swept something before they came. Now to say that cleaning is not my strong suit would be more than accurate ( I'm much more naturally inclined to do ANYTHING else-dental work seems better sometimes) but I have been really trying to keep everything tidy.This experience just reminded me to keep on keepin' on in my efforts to be a cleanin super star. So I say Thankyou to the fine men and women in blue who serve , protect and help to inspire us to mop more often.

Take that Suri !

2008-05-24T14:04:00.000-07:00

Baby Sloan .Super Amazingly Awesome and Darling.Happiest and most Fun Baby Ever and dont let Tom and Katie tell ya any different.

8th Wonder of the World anyone?

2008-05-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

I am not a huge fan of baseball caps (ya' know hat hair and everything) but my love of the afro lead me like a dying man searching for an oasis in a dry dry desert to this fab pic.I think it takes hat hair to an all new level.

Two Wild and Crazy Guys!

2008-05-21T16:40:00.000-07:00

What does this picture say to you? Brotherly Love?

Pants impaired ?

Sunglasses inside are wayyy cooler than sunglasses outside?

I just see two brothers-in-law lookin for a good time and an excuse to hike up their easy shorts.

Long live Presto Jones and Kevalina.

Cool Beans

2008-05-18T23:03:00.000-07:00

I How do you know if you truly love something? Well, you set it free and if it comes back then you know it was meant to be. Thats exactly how I feel about the masterpiece that is HOT ROD. I have not seen it since that amazing night at the theaters and recently I fell head over heels all over again.(Cinematic Masterpiece is the only way to describe this film by the way )If you dont adore this movie its ok because not everyone gets a punch dancing,animal loving, stunt attempting , step-dad fighting , super awesome soul mate like me.

Roller Derby!

2008-05-18T22:51:00.000-07:00

Look at those kids hanging on for dear life yet still manage to crack a smile.

Flare nose.

Just call me Doctor Cool Roller MD.

Seriously,someone call a Doctor!

It is VERY hard to take pictures when you have skates on that are 2 sizes too small AND you have to stay next to the baby strapped in the stroller AND you are a pretty lame skater AND none of your 4 kids skating can skate very well either. Good thing it was still fun!

Chillaxin'

Maybe when my secret dream to be a Roller Derby Queen and call myself 'Big Assets' is realized these guys could be my cheerleaders (wear little dollar sign inspired outfits and we could dye their hair green -and I could have fishnets with fake money poking out of some of the holes )I dont even want to tell how well I ve thought this through but I will say that my whole outfit is pretty much planned .Now all I need to do is learn how to actually skate! Oprah says to dream big.

AFROTASTIC!!

2008-05-15T22:13:00.000-07:00

Be it Winter, Spring ,Summer or Fall

I Love the Afro above all.

Thankyou Afro for bringing a bit of joy into this humdrum world.

Afro, will you marry me?

Idiot Savant Gardening 101

2008-05-13T20:50:00.000-07:00

Check out my Wicked Garden ! I know what you are thinking WOW who's Man Hands are those?!? Well my freinds I have been blessed with many things not the least of which are my Enormous
Man Hands -Yep,I can crack a lobster in half in 2 seconds Flat! Dont even get me started on how many finger bends and finger crunches I can do ( I dont want anyone to feel bad but I will say that its between 50 and 100). I digress, my new love is gardening .(We are still in the beginning stages of our Romance so pardon me for gushing !)Its great to be outside,watch things change and grow and to maintain and eventually reap the harvest. I always thought I would LIKE it but I FREAKIN' LOVE IT! (Sorry Hubz, its not platonic anymore)I really know very little about gardening so I kind of guessed about how to do it and sometimes I would ask my Dad who is my gardenin' sensei . The tomatoes are huge and the zuchini is lush with yellow blossoms.A few green beans are starting to show as well as a banana pepper and dark green spinach . Next year I will have a better plan -more efficient use of space and water and I would like to start composting. My Manly Man Hands are very helpful in the weed erradicating department and I can use cheap child labor if needs be ( why else would I have 5 kids?) My Dad gets all the credit for building the garden and having several successful seasons under his belt -but I am very excited to find more ripe veggies as the summer goes on.

The Family that Sings Together.....

2008-05-12T23:28:00.000-07:00

Mothers Day was yesterday and it was pretty chill and pretty great! My kids and Hubz and I all sang in sacrament meeting ( Kevin was nervous but tried very hard to learn his part and help the kids sing and never once complained -even though I totaly make him do it- and we all sang pretty well together ( Baby Sloan even helped 'sing' from the pews) and my goal was met - we started and ended together .My Mom and Gramma Great came to watch the kids stood still and didnt fight or fidget during the song ( a real concern of mine). Everyone looked nice and cute( but I did notice in primary that Nash had on blue soccer socks instead of black church socks-beggars cant be choosers).I wore the cool charm necklace my uber talented mother made for me and my sisters for Christmas(it has pics of my kids ,parents wedding ,my wedding ,sister pic and other charms too) and Ava kept askin' who's pic was on each charm and totaly playin' with it while I was singing my little solo part. Oh Well, The show must go on! We trudged through and it was very sweet to do that with my good Hubz and sweet kids. I felt very fortunate to sing with them and to help invite the spirit of motherhood and family to the meeting.Honestly, I am amazed daily at what smart and funny kids they are and greatful for a Hubz that still thinks I am the bees knees . I also need to give a shout out to my wonderful Mother who has always been SuperWoman to me. She has boundless talents, beauty beyond compare and a very generous and kind heart.I hope I can be half as cool as she is one day!Momma Fabulous I Love You!!!

Ants in yer' pants DO NOT make you do a Boogie Dance!

2008-05-07T23:55:00.000-07:00

More Reasons Not to like Ants

They ruin perfectly good food that has been on the ground even if you invoke the 5 second rule.
They sneak in where ever they want cuz' they are so tiny.
Sometimes they watch you .
Super Ant strength makes all the other insects crazy jealous.
If you have several children who sneak granola bars into your room and eat them ON your bed and let granola goodness fall between the mattress and the wall and down under the bed frame making a pile of ant delicacies -Ants think they can saunter in and chow down !-then search all over the TOP of your bed for more treats when you are sleeping and masticate on your corpse like body ,chillin' in slumber town you scream cuz' big fatty ant kisses are growing into welts the size of a winebago and wakin you up from a perfectly deep sleep !So #5 is that Ants dont have manners and invite themselves over for dinner whenever they feel like it! Oh, and they dont bring a Hostess Gift!

Crack Kills

2008-05-06T16:17:00.000-07:00

I always tell my angelic daughter Ava to Say No to Crack but sometimes kids want to find out the hard way.Good luck in crack rehab I'll visit and bring cookies.

Those Were the Days...

2008-05-05T23:05:00.001-07:00

Remember when David Hasselhoff was beloved in Germany AND the USA ? Remember when Kit was his best friend Not a Double Double and a quart of Jack Daniels? Remember when Gary Coleman was askin Willis what he was talkin about and NOT appearing on Divorce Court with a woman he met on the set of Church Ball ( I've seen it and the best thing about that movie is my favorite guy Fred Willard-he's hilarious as always).Oh, and they were arguing about if they did or did'nt consumate their marriage( I wasnt aware that a grey area existed where that is concerned) and about how he throws temper tantrums.

Lets harken back to a simpler time when Arnold just needed a hug from Mrs. Garret and The Hoff had a bright musical future not just shirts that say "Dont Hassel The Hoff"(Genius by the way) . This has been a cautionary post about the dangers of childhood stardom and slow motion running . Consider yourself warned.

Some Pictures so my sweet little Cherubs will stop Buggin me about it!

2008-05-05T16:36:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pic's to satisfy my dear ones cuz they are dying for me to be a better blog lady -so kids I love ya and here ya go!

Cinco De Mayo

2008-05-05T15:48:00.001-07:00

Its A Beautiful Day Here in Az and its also Cinco De Mayo a time to Partay ! I was thinkin about my fiesta menu for dinner and realized that I have pretty much NO IDEA why the fifth day of the fifth month is Muy Bien for our neighbords to the south! I saw a peice on the news about its meaning and several people of different ethnicities were asked and no one knew either.Hilari called and offered a fiesta for me and the bambinos and so I guess Im off the hook for makin' an entire fiesta myself - I just need to whip up some salsa and bust out the queso - thank heavens for Hilari! I have since given up on tryin to figure out the true meaning of Cinco De Mayo ( It cant be as cool as Christmas or Groundhog day) and I guess Im a person that will take a party for any reason whatsoever!I always like an excuse to boogie down !

Walkin to School

2007-11-14T08:35:00.000-08:00

I walked today.

Yep I walked . Im not crippled or anything so its not THAT big of a deal (like a wounded veteran who walks after years of painful therapy and finally is able to put one foot in front of the other to walk his daughter down the aisle at a beautiful wedding in New England in the fall) but every day I think I will get all the kids ready and be able to go to school early enough that I can walk them and we can bond, talk and get some exercise - enjoy the fresh air for heavens sake! Every single day there is no time- barely enough time for hair , breakfast ,teeth brushing , backpack checking ,baby feeding ,toddler changing let alone leaving 30 miutes early to walk. Well today I got up at 6 am took a shower and was ready to make my walkin dream come true ! Helped Nash finish the homework he should have finished the night before and !/2 of them cereal and the cereal haters had eggs. Fed Baby Sloan and left her with Kevin and Ava and said adios !We got out the door at just the right time !Hallelula!As we sauntered along a super busy street we talked about our favorite flowers ( 2 votes for Venus Fly traps 1 vote for a pink rose) and the way New York has subways and taxis why its important to brush our teeth and I thought this is great -----till i looked down and saw stretched out before us like a beige snake -a USED condom !
C'mon Man, I thought to myself why here? Someone had to have thrown it out the window as they zoomed by and just EEEWWWW GROSS!!! I didnt call attention to it and the kids kept walkin along discussin their preference for New Yorks transit system and I prayed it would' nt be noticed . We got to school ( I rapped a little walkin to school rap much to the chagrin of my boys and Remi and I sang a few choruses of High School Musical) and I walked back and saw it again and thought about how you can never fully protect your children from all the bad stuff of the world and how it is impossible to not want to. I dont want them to see nasty naughty junk and it just goes to show that you do your best and pray it will all work out and bad experiences and choices will still happen you just hope you taught them well enough to repent and walk on by the next time . Oh yeah and teach them not to litter.

virgin post!

2007-10-22T16:03:00.000-07:00

brooke ala mode

This is my first foray into the world of blog! Mommy I'm scared!