Junk in the Trunk

Why is her big booty awesome and my big booty isnt ? Maybe it's the stomach to back fat to booty ratio I 'm missin'. I should go to bed ....or go do a few squats.... or finish watchin' Kathy Griffin ..... or eat a cupcake......

100th POSTAPALOOOZA!!!!

Drop the balloons and toss the confetti ! It's my 100th post!!!! If only this post mean t I would get syndicated like sitcoms with 100 shows then I would be on easy street!!! Alas , that is not my fortune but I thought I would do a little catch up on the kids for the 100th Postapaloooza :

• Xander is all about his ' dress for success' style mantra and pretty much only wears button downs and ties ( bow ties preferably) but with an edgy twist ( think Jonas style not CPA) and loved the Boy Scout Camp he and Nash went to and is dreaming of big kid scouts.


• Nash is a man on a mission to get a pocket knife, get baptised ,shoot bee bee guns, and someday enjoy his dream profession as an assassin or trained killer ( he and cousin Slade will share an apartment along with the career) . His style is not as defined but the cloak and fur poncho still make frequent appearances.


• Remi is fancying herself an Olympic hopeful and LOVES swim and dive team. She is also missing school a little bit so she creates a classroom in the front hall pretty regularly. She is looking like a little lady-help!


• Ava is remembering how to swim in her lessons and digs playing with the big kids at swim and dive everymorningmondaythruthursdayatthehorribletimeof7:35till10:35 - not that I mind.... and is a sassy and sweet mix -she's like most Asian food a perfect mix of both.


• Sloan has a death wish . She is trying to get herself killed. If it isn't jumping into pools it's running out doors or like this morning escaping from me and bolting for the escalator at Dillard's ( running shoes were required and thankfully ON) as we raced after her. She is a beautiful hazel eyed ball of trouble and we all adore her and she knows it.


• Kevin is working hard and hoping for more good projects to pan out any one wanna build a house or remodel I know an excellent and anal contractor! I am grateful for a catering filled last couple of weeks and the excitement of a Mediterranean cruise with my OG , Mom and Hilari- It will be AWESOME! now working on fitting into my 'resort wear' ..hmm. The kids are healthy and pretty busy with swim and dive which keeps me busy for the next few weeks . I am thankful for wonderful family and friends and the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life- really it doesn't get any better than this!

Flour, my nemesis , my love

I love to make cookies and cakes ( even though Hilari is a waaay better baker than me -so are Kelli and Chelsea while we are at it) I also love homemade pancakes and waffles and German pancakes and Belgium waffles - any international spin on a breakfast carb I dig. I can't resist warm earthy bread and yeasty buttery rolls. I am a fan of all the things a bag of lowly flour can create. I just hate flour when it's all over my sweet angelic/ mischievous baby girl. I guess she was either hungry or looking for something to squish between her chubby toes.
She can run but she can't hide that runny nose and messy face gives it away every time. I guess she has flour power. Doesn't Sloan know that wheat is soooo much better for you?

6 horrible truths

Miss Mary ( whom I love and worship) tagged me to write 6 mysterious and exotic true things about myself ( I added the mysterious and exotic - all I want to do is try to make my life sound more exciting by saying I am a double agent or super model or Gelato taster) I guess I will just try to be honest....

• I love, nay adore beautifully ripe produce. For as long as I can remember the sight of a farmers market or the amply stocked fruits and veggies at a grocery store set my heart a flutter ! A farmers market where you support small businesses and smell and taste the delectable goods is a slice of tomato flavored Heaven. Oh, think of the rainbows of flavor, the options for dinner!!!
• I am into Fun and Happy. I like finding fun in everything I do . I am not saying I don't like hard work 'cuz I do- working hard is important I just think joy can be found in most every situation . I have mucho to be happy about and thankful for. I am really trying to express my gratitude more often and be positive and excited about life no matter what.
• I LOVE movies and tv ( 30 Rock,Mad Men, Reno 911, reality junk) . Mostly happy and funny( Happy Texas) or dark and funny ( Drop Dead Gorgeous) . I think you can get away with alot if it's funny( Hot Rod, Airplane) .I love art and foreign film ( Rabbit Proof Fence, My Fathers Castle , My Mothers Glory) I also love musicals ( Gypsy, SummerStock) and weird movies ( True Stories, Delicatessen). I crave oldies ( The Women, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, Life With Father ) I don't watch R's so if a film is edited and on tv I am all over it ( Old School , Godfather). Hooray for edited Tarintino!
• I am trying to get back what I guess I've let go. I didn't realize how loose I've gotten but trying to tighten it all up is way less fun and much more difficult than lettin' it all flap free. This has made me realize how extremely confident I am about some things about myself and totally embarrassed/ horrified of others- trying to be a grown up self improvement lady aint easy .
• My dream job changes frequently - I am lovin' that I live the married to a wonderful man and mother of 5 fab kids dream but if I could embellish it with a few more jobby jobs it would be set designer , SNL host-( I have a few sketches planned one involves false teeth and stretchy pants) ,restaurateur and big time caterer, Drag Queen ( sooo glamorous- no stretchy pants) author of cook books and chick lit ( food for crazy mommies and crazy mommy stories), event planner, artist, roller derby girl( my name will be BIG ASSETS and I will have a costume filled with dollar signs) , cabaret and opera singer, aerobics instructor, documentary film maker, master gardener, talk show host( not The View- no offense Whoopi) and personal assistant to Kathy Griffin or Jonathon Adler . I could never dream to be an accountant- Not that there's anything wrong with that.
• Oh, last thing -I love junk and garbage. One mans trash is my flea market treasure ,the possibilities are endless! If I actually follow through with my artistic vision for the trash is a whole other thing. A forgotten trunk in an abandoned attic is full of possibilities - and rats - or maybe gowns from the 40's that will fit me perfectly. - A girl can dream!

There are my 6 painful truths and now I hereby declare Debra, Nicole,Charlene, Chelsea, Mom, Bobbi , Good luck it's hard to think of things and narrow them down - strange isn't it.

Booger is the new Black

Super cute baby right? All but the tell tale shiny spot. That glistening snot droplet is Sloans must have accessory - she always has one . Haven't you heard that booger is the new black? That mucus is the new maxi dress? She did away with her signature look about 2 weeks ago and I was in kissy face heaven! I didn't have to worry if a salty treat would accompany my kiss goodnight or if my shoulder and legs would have mysterious matte streaks all over . Her bottom incisors came in and life was sweet! Last weekend the nightmare began and one by my kids started dropping like flies succombing to a stomach flu (24 hours- phew) and my baby was not spared - neither was my husband who has had to embrace the throne all day. Her nose is back running like a faucet and I have to do a tissue sweep before her strawberry lips touch mine. I can only dream of a snot free world where mucus does not reign supreme.

Aunt Mel is Well

We were all this sad thinking we might lose our wonderful Aunt Mel ( this is not a pic of Ava crying over Aunt Mel -I like to take pic's for scrappin' but come on that seems way wrong ). A week of fervent prayer and waves of grief have affected every member of our family after Mel was comatose with a life threatening bout of pneumonia . After a week of sorrow and worry Aunt Mel is awake and crackin' jokes about being too stubborn to die and while she is learning to use her body again we are all thankful for miracles,prayer, our Heavenly Father and our selfless loving kind Aunt Mel who is always ready with a smile and hug , loves a ball game , always comes prepared with treats, loves a good joke ( bawdiness is optional), is always there when you need her and can clean a load of laundry like no buddies business ( be afraid stains she's baaaack ) . I love my Aunt Mel we all do.

The Big Girls

Here are the big girls who are always ready to get their toes painted and hair curled, to break out in impromptu song and dance , dream of going to the mall, help me with any project - whether I like it or not, jump on the trampoline till their legs are wobbly , boss around the baby- I mean watch her, put on copious amounts of dress up clothes and lip gloss , valiantly try to play basketball and not double dribble, find all the slimy worms in the garden, and play Barbies till their the fingers bleed from putting on all those teeny tiny shoes- ahhhhhh, it's so fun to be a big girl and even more fun to be the big girlies Mom!