Confessions

I have a confession to make..... I am borderline addicted to ice cream. I love It . Truly Madly Deeply Adore It. I am basically stalk It. I think I should quit it but It completes me and my belly............ Oh, and this guy has one freakishly long tongue , hello Gene Simmons.

MMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmm

This pic is from Mykonos. A guy had some crates of shallots eggplant, some yellow mums all out of a clown like three wheeled van/ pick up and these perfectly perfect ripe cherry tomato jewels . All I want to do is get some delish crusty bread toast it in olive oil and teeny bit of butter rub a garlic clove all over it and then take the best tomatoes, slice 'em and dice 'em throw in some red onion ,a lot of basil (and maybe some mint how about some fresh oregano or even cilantro ) and drizzle on some extra virgin and balsamic and I will be in heaven! How's that for a run on sentence? My taste buds are watering but I need to go do hair and make cereal for the huddled masses yearning to break free of their school routine ......

Greece is Great!

I am finally getting to my summer pic's ( it's like wedding thankyou's , there's a window) -and if you haven't already heard I'm a world traveler now. Yep, I traverse the globe and it's no big whoop. Jet lag is my homie. I laugh in the face of baggage claim and sneer at airplane food ( except for the cookies on Delta mmmm) . Here I am with the Acropolis ..... it was awe inspiring. Hot , humid and the granite underfoot was slick and shiny from centuries of visitors. The site was filled ancient broken capitals and columns and quite a few ferrel cats and dogs. Thousands of people walked the gravel filled paths and I would try to squint my mind to imagine what it must have been like to enjoy the buildings in their prime. I feel sooo lucky I was able to see so much of Greece and to have had such an amazing time with OG GlamMom and Hilari. I'll never forget the side splitting laughter, room service cheese plates, table 8, ruins, water taxis, architecture, street markets, speedos, and gelato. I don't think it could have been any more wonderful!

It aint always easy....

Getting ready for school is hard, but this face is even worse. We are trying to get in the groove of schedules and homework and sometimes I think summer went by too fast and other times I'm singing the Hallelujah Chorus ...ahhh.... such is motherhood and childhood and life.

007 watch out

I just got back from my vacay fab pics soon to come ! I'd like to add that before I became a mother I never thought I would have to say " If you want to be a trained killer or government assassin you need to be a great reader and have good math skills ." Happy first day of school yayhoos!!!!

Cruisin'

The yayhoos at the Getty Villa- amazing if you are in Malibu call ahead to get free tickets and GO!

See ya later fam' I am off to see the real thing!!!! Lotsa naked statues, and columns , gyros, gondolas, and gelatos ( who knew all awesome stuff starts with G ? ohh, Gidget,gyoza, Ghostbusters, gelatin, Gandhi, green olives,giclee', giants, I could go on and on and on....) thanks OG for making my travelin' dreams come true you have always been a wonderful gramma and I'm sure you will be an above average traveling companion ( like an A ++) you are my globe trotting inspiration( without the afro and basketball and converse) thank you for everything you do for me!! I love you!!!!!!

have duct tape will travel

Sometimes all ya need is a duct tape beard to feel awesome . It's waaay cooler than a goatee but about even with an ole timey stache' ( as far as adhesive facial hair goes).

Simple Gifts

It takes a lot of dedication to paint yourself white and stand like a Greek statue hoping someone will drop a $20 in your top hat/collection bucket. The makeup has to be itchy and the box can't be comfortable- let alone the ' is that a real statue' comment has to get a little old. They do persevere and keep the fourth wall intact as the lowly street performer tries to make rent and elevate his art. On our last So. Cal visit we ran into these tenacious artists and watched as they freaked out and eventually charmed the kids. I also had the pleasure of watching two men ( one silver and one gold- like the girl scout song) smoking cigarettes argue about who was going to pick up some dropped equipment from their performance spot. It was hilarious . Two middle aged men ,overweight, dressed in all metallic ( even lipstick) playing chicken with a speaker. Thank you, Santa Monica. Thank you, Pasadena . You made the drive and numerous potty breaks worth it , I would give you a $20 - if I didn't give it to you already.

More is More

This is Gramma Teeny Tiny ( cuz look at her) and Brother Bawden ( no nickname for him yet, Grampa Baldy?) and they have adopted my kids since their grands live far away. I have known these people my whole life and a little while ago they took my big girls to a ballet choreographed by their super talented daughter. The girls loved the ballet and them , I love them too. We have an amazing family but I am sooo thankful for wonderful friends who become family. You have heard the saying that 'you can never be too skinny or too rich' I would like to add ' never have too much haggen daz in the freezer and too many people to love and support you'. My girls love, love, love to sit by them at church ( Teeny Tiny is sweet with a pinch of sass and has a hug/smile for everyone)and has a special quiet bag just for them. He took everyone out for some DQ ( I am a big fan of the hot fudge sundae with pecans) after we helped clean the church ( I mostly kid wrangled but worked up a sweat anyway- thankyou summer) and is generous talented and kind . It is a wonderful thing to have wonderful friends!

Junk in the Trunk

Why is her big booty awesome and my big booty isnt ? Maybe it's the stomach to back fat to booty ratio I 'm missin'. I should go to bed ....or go do a few squats.... or finish watchin' Kathy Griffin ..... or eat a cupcake......

100th POSTAPALOOOZA!!!!

Drop the balloons and toss the confetti ! It's my 100th post!!!! If only this post mean t I would get syndicated like sitcoms with 100 shows then I would be on easy street!!! Alas , that is not my fortune but I thought I would do a little catch up on the kids for the 100th Postapaloooza :

• Xander is all about his ' dress for success' style mantra and pretty much only wears button downs and ties ( bow ties preferably) but with an edgy twist ( think Jonas style not CPA) and loved the Boy Scout Camp he and Nash went to and is dreaming of big kid scouts.


• Nash is a man on a mission to get a pocket knife, get baptised ,shoot bee bee guns, and someday enjoy his dream profession as an assassin or trained killer ( he and cousin Slade will share an apartment along with the career) . His style is not as defined but the cloak and fur poncho still make frequent appearances.


• Remi is fancying herself an Olympic hopeful and LOVES swim and dive team. She is also missing school a little bit so she creates a classroom in the front hall pretty regularly. She is looking like a little lady-help!


• Ava is remembering how to swim in her lessons and digs playing with the big kids at swim and dive everymorningmondaythruthursdayatthehorribletimeof7:35till10:35 - not that I mind.... and is a sassy and sweet mix -she's like most Asian food a perfect mix of both.


• Sloan has a death wish . She is trying to get herself killed. If it isn't jumping into pools it's running out doors or like this morning escaping from me and bolting for the escalator at Dillard's ( running shoes were required and thankfully ON) as we raced after her. She is a beautiful hazel eyed ball of trouble and we all adore her and she knows it.


• Kevin is working hard and hoping for more good projects to pan out any one wanna build a house or remodel I know an excellent and anal contractor! I am grateful for a catering filled last couple of weeks and the excitement of a Mediterranean cruise with my OG , Mom and Hilari- It will be AWESOME! now working on fitting into my 'resort wear' ..hmm. The kids are healthy and pretty busy with swim and dive which keeps me busy for the next few weeks . I am thankful for wonderful family and friends and the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life- really it doesn't get any better than this!

Flour, my nemesis , my love

I love to make cookies and cakes ( even though Hilari is a waaay better baker than me -so are Kelli and Chelsea while we are at it) I also love homemade pancakes and waffles and German pancakes and Belgium waffles - any international spin on a breakfast carb I dig. I can't resist warm earthy bread and yeasty buttery rolls. I am a fan of all the things a bag of lowly flour can create. I just hate flour when it's all over my sweet angelic/ mischievous baby girl. I guess she was either hungry or looking for something to squish between her chubby toes.
She can run but she can't hide that runny nose and messy face gives it away every time. I guess she has flour power. Doesn't Sloan know that wheat is soooo much better for you?

6 horrible truths

Miss Mary ( whom I love and worship) tagged me to write 6 mysterious and exotic true things about myself ( I added the mysterious and exotic - all I want to do is try to make my life sound more exciting by saying I am a double agent or super model or Gelato taster) I guess I will just try to be honest....

• I love, nay adore beautifully ripe produce. For as long as I can remember the sight of a farmers market or the amply stocked fruits and veggies at a grocery store set my heart a flutter ! A farmers market where you support small businesses and smell and taste the delectable goods is a slice of tomato flavored Heaven. Oh, think of the rainbows of flavor, the options for dinner!!!
• I am into Fun and Happy. I like finding fun in everything I do . I am not saying I don't like hard work 'cuz I do- working hard is important I just think joy can be found in most every situation . I have mucho to be happy about and thankful for. I am really trying to express my gratitude more often and be positive and excited about life no matter what.
• I LOVE movies and tv ( 30 Rock,Mad Men, Reno 911, reality junk) . Mostly happy and funny( Happy Texas) or dark and funny ( Drop Dead Gorgeous) . I think you can get away with alot if it's funny( Hot Rod, Airplane) .I love art and foreign film ( Rabbit Proof Fence, My Fathers Castle , My Mothers Glory) I also love musicals ( Gypsy, SummerStock) and weird movies ( True Stories, Delicatessen). I crave oldies ( The Women, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, Life With Father ) I don't watch R's so if a film is edited and on tv I am all over it ( Old School , Godfather). Hooray for edited Tarintino!
• I am trying to get back what I guess I've let go. I didn't realize how loose I've gotten but trying to tighten it all up is way less fun and much more difficult than lettin' it all flap free. This has made me realize how extremely confident I am about some things about myself and totally embarrassed/ horrified of others- trying to be a grown up self improvement lady aint easy .
• My dream job changes frequently - I am lovin' that I live the married to a wonderful man and mother of 5 fab kids dream but if I could embellish it with a few more jobby jobs it would be set designer , SNL host-( I have a few sketches planned one involves false teeth and stretchy pants) ,restaurateur and big time caterer, Drag Queen ( sooo glamorous- no stretchy pants) author of cook books and chick lit ( food for crazy mommies and crazy mommy stories), event planner, artist, roller derby girl( my name will be BIG ASSETS and I will have a costume filled with dollar signs) , cabaret and opera singer, aerobics instructor, documentary film maker, master gardener, talk show host( not The View- no offense Whoopi) and personal assistant to Kathy Griffin or Jonathon Adler . I could never dream to be an accountant- Not that there's anything wrong with that.
• Oh, last thing -I love junk and garbage. One mans trash is my flea market treasure ,the possibilities are endless! If I actually follow through with my artistic vision for the trash is a whole other thing. A forgotten trunk in an abandoned attic is full of possibilities - and rats - or maybe gowns from the 40's that will fit me perfectly. - A girl can dream!

There are my 6 painful truths and now I hereby declare Debra, Nicole,Charlene, Chelsea, Mom, Bobbi , Good luck it's hard to think of things and narrow them down - strange isn't it.

Booger is the new Black

Super cute baby right? All but the tell tale shiny spot. That glistening snot droplet is Sloans must have accessory - she always has one . Haven't you heard that booger is the new black? That mucus is the new maxi dress? She did away with her signature look about 2 weeks ago and I was in kissy face heaven! I didn't have to worry if a salty treat would accompany my kiss goodnight or if my shoulder and legs would have mysterious matte streaks all over . Her bottom incisors came in and life was sweet! Last weekend the nightmare began and one by my kids started dropping like flies succombing to a stomach flu (24 hours- phew) and my baby was not spared - neither was my husband who has had to embrace the throne all day. Her nose is back running like a faucet and I have to do a tissue sweep before her strawberry lips touch mine. I can only dream of a snot free world where mucus does not reign supreme.

Aunt Mel is Well

We were all this sad thinking we might lose our wonderful Aunt Mel ( this is not a pic of Ava crying over Aunt Mel -I like to take pic's for scrappin' but come on that seems way wrong ). A week of fervent prayer and waves of grief have affected every member of our family after Mel was comatose with a life threatening bout of pneumonia . After a week of sorrow and worry Aunt Mel is awake and crackin' jokes about being too stubborn to die and while she is learning to use her body again we are all thankful for miracles,prayer, our Heavenly Father and our selfless loving kind Aunt Mel who is always ready with a smile and hug , loves a ball game , always comes prepared with treats, loves a good joke ( bawdiness is optional), is always there when you need her and can clean a load of laundry like no buddies business ( be afraid stains she's baaaack ) . I love my Aunt Mel we all do.

The Big Girls

Here are the big girls who are always ready to get their toes painted and hair curled, to break out in impromptu song and dance , dream of going to the mall, help me with any project - whether I like it or not, jump on the trampoline till their legs are wobbly , boss around the baby- I mean watch her, put on copious amounts of dress up clothes and lip gloss , valiantly try to play basketball and not double dribble, find all the slimy worms in the garden, and play Barbies till their the fingers bleed from putting on all those teeny tiny shoes- ahhhhhh, it's so fun to be a big girl and even more fun to be the big girlies Mom!

Don'tcha just Love Love?

Nash loves Sloan and Sloan loves Nash.

Birthday Madness!!!!!

My eldest son Xander ( who loves that X Man is a possible nickname) and middle daughter Ava ( not really like Jan at all -thank heavens) just enjoyed turning 9 and 4 ( Chucky Cheese is counting my ducats and laughing in his creepy robotic sinister way). Both had parties ( I would like to go on record as a staunch Chucky pizza hater- hello gross) with some wonderful amigos and familia .They loved planning their treat for school and the menu for breakfast and lunch plus eating off the red plate on their big days.The first two weeks of February are birthday central here and the kids make sure the birthday child is El Capitan . Ava is a little unsure of becoming a full flegged big girl ( she is struggling with remaining potty trained and every word starts with a d wether you like it or not) and Xander thinks he's pretty much a teen by now (he is dreaming of a fedora ala Jonas Bros. and reads Tolkien-sheesh). Kevin and I feel blessed to have such great kids who are unique and amazing ! ( and without a birthday to plan- aka throw together- until July when Nash and Sloan hit us with a double whammy- good thing I dig a party!)

Brothers gotta Hug!

Xander and Nash compete ,adore, hate, play with, stick up for, beat up and snuggle with each other. I am lucky to have two boys who are wonderful , creative and eager to learn how to be little men. Sometimes I want to ring their necks but mostly they make me very proud.

Sugarz' for Suckaz'

It has been 2 weeks without a treat (Devan and I made these to pass out at Christmas and because it was a fruit based treat I gobbled up wayyy more than my fair share) and although late at night (like right now ) or in the afternoon I sometimes feel like I would sell my firstborn for a Snickers ( sorry Xander there are a few non-perks as the eldest child) it has been ok so far... ok and merging into the not so bad lane. Deciding to do it and not worrying about what I would miss out on (Valentines candy,Sunday night dessert, and my Grandmas hot Devils food cake with warm 7 minute frosting at Devan and Ashtons showers to name a few) was the first giant step the rest has been, as the great and timeless Bill Murray sez', Baby Steps. Baby steps around the frozen section so the gravitational pull of some poor-me-I-need-a-treat-ice cream doesn't suck me in .Baby steppin through the candy/cookie aisle where the Bermuda Triangle of Oreo Rocher and Mint Milanos make me feel dizzy and clammy. Baby steps pass the kitchen where chocolate chips are waiting to be turned into pizzookies and milk begs me for some Hershey's. I don't want to go through my life where my stress and mood dictate how I treat my body. I have a whole truckload of big daddy stress right now-(who doesn't Einstein) but by being proactive (the verb not the skincare line-though I hear it works wonders) maybe I can manage everything and not gain a million more pounds maybe even lose a few .Hilari and I are doing this sugar break challenge until the end of April-her 30th Bday -so it is wonderful to have a 'sugar sponsor' to talk me down from the rice krispie ledge- and as the days go by I find I need less hand holding which is empowering and my body does seem to feel better. I feel 100% certain that I can make it the next 12 weeks -bold and brash you say , well that's how I roll - but not cinnamon roll .

gratuitous pic's of my darling kids

I am a semi-busy lady and workin' on some self improvements- eat better (like NO sugary treats 8 days and counting - I deserve an award - today I am cuttin' out my great friend Mr. Bread) I am also organizin' (2 hours in the play room brought us the gift of a floor and 10,000 costumes to find a better spot for) I guess I'm working on not lettin' my natural man tendencies get the better of me. I frequently let the dishes creep up but I am making it my goal to go to bed with a clean sink ( some reading this may say 'ahhdoy !' and I know I am way behind on the consistent cleaning curve) and piles of laundry neatly folded and put away. I know ,I know it's not rocket science but I naturally want to have a tidy home but couldn't figure out how to do it - guess what the secret is -doing it. How can I be a genius and a nimrod all at once? I'm off to make my childrens tubs of memorabilia and then dinner-see how awesome I am already becoming even without toast with cinnamon sugar...oops I drooled a bit.....

Mascara + Baby = Mess

Sloan is a huge fan of my mascara and all natural juice boxes. Who can blame her? They both make you feel refreshed ,healthy , hydrated and cute . I know, I know I 'm a good Mom for teaching her about the importance of maintaining a youthful glow. I am holding off on the whole Botox vs. Restalyn talk until she is 2.

I have the COOLEST most TALENTED friend!

My fave amiga and roomie 4 score and 7 seven years ago ( really 10 years ago but Abraham Lincoln is way better with words than un-presidential me ) Michelle (the girl who introduced me to the delicacy of smoked oysters on ritz crackers with mustard and peanut butter as frosting )is opening an etsy shop!!!! type type type is chock full of gorg giclee prints on water color with lds inspired sayings . This is not your mommas vinyl lettering ( not that there is anything wrong with that) but cool prints ready to frame.Anyway check out her stuff at etsy ! type type type is cool and if I was cooler I could figure out how to link something..... and not use cool as my discriptive word of choice ...blurg.....

9 beautifully stinky years

While checking out Craigs List my Dad (he's just discovered the wonderment of it) and sistah' Hilari ( she's an old pro)saw someone giving away a couple packs of small adult diapers in the description it said that only people that really needed them should call and no "sickos who just like wearing diapers" ( I have watched a lot of day time talk shows in my day and didn't realize that there was such a big demand for recreational diaper wearin' adults).

That lead me to think about my long term relationship with the disposable wonders - nine years of consistently changing someones poopy pants. I can't say it's been a fun nine years but it has been interesting . Not to get graphic but the human digestive system is pretty coolio. I probably have 2 years left of being intimate with another persons intimates and when I am done I don't think I'll miss it and I am sure gonna keep some wipes around ( they clean everything -even my face) but it will be an adjustment- a happy less stinky adjustment.