The Bee and Me...A One Sided Love Story

That is one big disgruntled bee and I would like to start this off by saying I am a full on bee supporter. I am Pro-Bee . I saw The Bee Movie, enjoy Sue Bee Honey , used Burts Bee's lip balm ( not very often cuz' that stuff is spendy) ,and watched the 60 minutes where they talk about how all the bee's are disappearing and how we aren't going to be able to raise crops without them and bee keepers are going out of business cuz' a mizillion bee's are takin' a vacay cuz' of cell phones (- even Andy Rooney's do ya ever wonder why we get junk mail segment couldn't erase my concern).So I have alotta' love for our friends the bees and was shocked when one decided to rummage around my hair and sting my finger while I was gingerly shooing it away.So 4 days later my useful pointer finger and surrounding tissue has become a hand of fleshy swollen goodness. Saturday night it was at its worse and I gave it a nickname of Meat Hand or McMeaty for short. Antibiotics are helping the swelling and Benedryl is keeping the itchiness at bay while also delivering a substantial buzz.The kids said my hand looked like a lil' baby hand all round fatty and pink. I have developed a healthy respect for all the things my left hand does for me like hold things and pet things and touch things - I really really like my left hand. I also harbor no ill will towards that wayward bee. I was always on his side ( I love bees wax candles and look pretty good in yellow and black) and the fact that a bee didn't take the time to get to know me better and realize I am not a threat is just a life lesson- or end of life lesson for the bee cuz' I think they die after they sting you. I still love you bees . In spite of my obvious disfiguring allergy to bees I will always be your #1 fan. Let me be the wind beneath your teeny tiny hardworking wings.

Thankyou, Thankyou Very Much

Here is a picture of Nash as Alien Elvis ....you're welcome.

Weirdness

I have seen and heard a lot of weird stuff today. The seen part is all hair related, actually fake hair related. Exhibit A the Gal ( I feel like my Glammom saying Gal - not that there is anything wrong with that) who watches the kids at the gym had crazy rows of extensions totally visible and I didn't know if that was an oops my slip is caught in my unders situation where I should alert her or if that was a fashion choice. I chose the latter and was grateful she wasn't busting out white after Labor Day.. Exhibit B an Older Lady ( think Golden Girls old not Desperate Housewives old-not that they are old or anything) in Wallymart had super short hair with a long dirty blonde clip on pony on the top of her head TOP of her head. Exhibit C a Rotund Man jogging ( who looked like Rodney Dangerfield may he rest in peace getting some much deserved respect) with very little light colored hair on the bottom and a bright orangeish toupee on top- like sitting right on top -like a bird resting on a prickly branch - get the visual? Then I see that this dude above thought it would be awesome to get a guy pooping shaved into his head. Now I give him points for moxie but execution and flair leave much to be desired.
On to heard weird stuff! Nash informed me that he is in fact part werewolf and has super speed with a dash of super strength ( Think shirt ripping guy from the Bachelorette now a fave on The Soup). Xander said that most people with his type of nose ( cute and button like) tend to have short stubby fingers - like his- who knew? All this weirdness in one day - when did I get sooo lucky?!

Thankful Hands

I have 5 blessings and I can count them on one hand so I can never forget to be thankful. I don't usually forget how lucky I am but sometimes my fingers remind me.

On Thanksgiving an Elastic Waistband is your BFF

Tomorrow is the Big Feast and I happen to enjoy any holiday devoted to eating and thanking. We have our gingerbread houses ( more like dilapidated ramshackle huts) ready to decorate and each kid is stoked to lick and stick multitudes of stale and fresh candies to their graham clapboarded sides. I have two assignments one fully cooked moist and lovely 18.5 lb.turkey (tofurkeys need not apply) and a 20lb. vat of buttery delicious mashed potatoes ( pipe down potato buds we don't take kindly to you in these parts either). I can't decide on my attire sweat pants seem too obvious a choice and leggings a tad too constrictive. I wish I could come to my Gramma's in my trusty leopard and rose print muumuu and call it a day. However that may send the wrong message like I stopped taking my meds or I missed the bus to the next Bold and Beautiful Fan convention. I promise I will shower and wear deodorant and the whole shebang but if I have to explain my competitive -eating- beginning -amateur- noncompetitive- status as I dive head first into a beautifully crusted chocolate cream pie to my hard of listening familia again I think I may have to eat another whole pie to numb the pain(maybe there will be a coconut cream!!- a girl can dream....) Have a great Turkey Day chock full of Thanks and pie and rivers of gravy!

Sticky Sweet Baby

I love my sticky jelly filled crumb coated chocolate dipped praline spackled deep fried sugar glazed Baby Sloan.

Danger Man

This is my brave hubz Kevin taking on a wild and woolly mesquite tree a few months ago. It never had a chance. With brains and brawn he felled that Tower of Pisa so it could never again split in the wind and threaten our neighbors jerry-rigged sheds and tarps. (Seriously if you need any old McDonalds seating a full sized John Wayne poster ,giant stuffed parrots or various Corona/ Pabst Blue Ribbon memorabilia they will hook you up because they are nice and have TONS of crap-I mean treasures) Kevin bested that thorny beast and didn't kill himself or become paralyzed -which would have really gotten me grouchy- and I am glad to have such a handy handsome man around my house-seriously check out that booty!